Many of you would be familiar with the Greek mythology about Narcissus, who falls in love with the beautiful reflection of himself in the water and stares at his own reflection until he dies.
I have to tell you everything that's happening in my life!
내인생에서일어나고있는모든것을말해줘야해!
It's been nuts.
미쳤어.
In the above dialogue, Chris shows an example of a typical conversational narcissist.
위의대화에서크리스는전형적인대화나르시시스트의예를보여준다.
Your first reaction to this would probably be something like:
이것에대한당신의첫반응은아마도다음과같을것이다:
"Oh, I don't do that!"
"오, 난그런짓을하지않아!"
But not so fast.
하지만그렇게빠르지는않다.
We are all guilty of it.
우리는모두그것에대해죄책감을느낀다.
We have all had conversations where we pretend to listen, but we are focusing on what we want to say next.
우리모두는듣는척하는곳에서대화를나눈적이있지만, 우리가원하는다음에말할것에집중한다
A good conversation is an interesting thing.
좋은대화는재미있는것이다.
But in order to make it interesting, group effort is necessary.
하지만그것을흥미롭게하기위해서는집단적인노력이필요하다.
Each individual has to sacrifice a little for the benefit of the whole group and to increase the pleasure of the conversation.
각개인은그룹전체의이익과대화의즐거움을증진시키기위해조금씩희생해야한다.
That's why it is important that conversations are cooperative not competitive.
그렇기때문에대화가경쟁적이지않고협력적인것이중요하다.
But many people, teens especially, make conversations into competitions.
하지만많은사람들, 특히십대들은경쟁으로대화를나눈다.
In the process, they become a conversational narcissist without being aware of it.
그과정에서, 그들은그것을알지못한채대화를나르시스트가된다.
How conversational narcissism occurs in a conversation
대화중에대화하는나르시시즘이어떻게일어나는가
During a conversation, each person makes initiatives.
각각의사람은대화의주도권을가진다.
These initiatives can either be attention giving or attention getting.
이러한주도권은주의를기울이거나주의를끌수있다.
Conversational narcissists concentrate more on the latter because they want others' attention on themselves.
대화나르시시스트들은다른사람들의관심을받기위해후자에더집중한다.
The response to an initiative can take two forms:
주도권에대한대응에는두가지형태가있을수있다:
the shift response and the support response.
즉, 쉬프트응답과지지응답이다.
The support response keeps attention on the speaker and the speaker's topic.
지지응답은화자와화자의주제에계속주의를기울인다.
The shift response attempts to change the topic and shift the attention to the other person.
쉬프트응답은주제를바꾸고다른사람에게주의를돌리려고한다.
Support Response
지지응답
Brian: I'm thinking about buying a new smartphone.
브라이언: 나는새스마트폰을살까생각중이야.
Sally: Oh, yeah?
샐리: 오, 그래?
What models have you looked at?
어떤모델을보았니?
Shift Response
쉬프트응답
Brian: I'm thinking about buying a new smartphone.
브라이언: 나는새스마트폰을살까생각중이야.
Sally: Oh, yeah?
샐리: 오, 그래?
I'm thinking about buying a new phone, too.
나도새전화기를살까생각중이야.
Brian: Really?
브라이언: 정말?
Sally: Yup, it'll be a gift from my grandmother for my birthday.
샐리: 그래, 그건내생일선물로할머니께서주신거야.
In the first example, Sally keeps the attention on Brian with her support response.
첫번째예에서, 샐리는그녀의지지응답으로브라이언에게계속주의를기울인다.
In the second example, Sally attempts to turn the conversation to herself with a shift response.
대답두번째예에서, 샐리는쉬프트응답으로대화를자기자신에게돌리려고한다.
Now it's important to point out that although a shift response opens up the opportunity for a person to grab the attention, it doesn't necessarily mean he or she is going to.
It is important that you wait until the topic has run its course.
주제가진행될때까지기다리는것이중요하다.
By offering attention and being a little more considerate, you can make your conversations enjoyable, which will lead to a more cherishable relationship.